


3 years and counting

by talonyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, college au??? of some sort???, it's p domestic i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa and Kageyama live together now and it's sometimes a little stressful. A collection of short drabbles describing their lives together and the problems that result from that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hm, I always imagine that their relationship doesn't work out in high school but it might work out in the future so I decided to have them live together because I have a mighty need for oikage being domestic. This is very short and depending on if I have the time and the will, I might turn this into a tiny series of drabbles about them living together!

Time and time over, Oikawa made sure he never invested himself too much in this relationship.

He had accepted Tobio’s confession back in the days for the fun of it. To see him struggle. It was cute. And either way, he was the one who said he liked him so Oikawa didn’t think twice about it despite not having the same feelings. In the end, it would probably go like every other relationship he had until then. They’d be together and they’d do things and at a certain point, the other party would grow tired or accuse him of lying or maybe tell him he doesn’t care enough and then leave. Just because it was Tobio it wasn’t going to be different.

Whether it was him or anyone else, when it came down to it everyone had abandoned him eventually. It was really just a simple matter of time. For all he knew, Tobio was probably just confusing admiration and love. He was the type of person for that, not being able to discern his feelings properly. But it didn’t matter to him. For the time being, Oikawa thought he could enjoy himself. Until Tobio would realize and leave, like everyone else.

“Hey, don’t forget your keys,” Oikawa says lazily and picks up Tobio’s keys from the table in the kitchen. Who even puts them there? Tobio is a lot more scatterbrained than Oikawa thought of him before. He doesn’t just forget his keys. Sometimes he goes out without his bag and realizes ten minutes late. He misses his train then and comes an hour late, or so he says. He also went out in pyjamas once. Oikawa to this day doesn’t understand how. Tobio told him he had been too tired and didn’t pay any attention that he forgot to do something. In a way, it is relieving. Good to know that he isn’t as perfect as he appears to be – at a first glance, that is.

Oikawa hears him rustling through his bag as he replies.

“Huh? No, I alre— Oh.”

The sounds are replaced by footsteps coming closer, the younger man suddenly standing in the door frame.

“Don’t ‘Oh.’ me,” Oikawa scolds and throws the keys at Tobio. “I told you to properly put them at the entrance so you won’t forget them. I don’t want to hear you complain about how you got too late to college again.”

He catches them with ease and nods. “Thanks.”

For a minute, there is a silence in which both simply look at each other. Tobio opens his mouth but no voice is coming out. He does that, sometimes. Because he doesn’t know when it is appropriate to say things and not.

“Um. I’ll get going, then. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, do that. Have a safe trip.”

Tobio nods again and waves before he disappears from the door. His footsteps were still audible after the front door closed, just faint but Oikawa always listens. He looks up at the clock and figures he still has more than half an hour to get ready and leave, too. In comparison to Tobio, his college is not even 10 minutes away. He presses his lips together and closes his eyes.

Tobio gives a lot more for this relationship than him. But only because Oikawa is set on not getting too serious. Even if this has gone for more than three years now, the time will come when Tobio will leave. Eventually. Definitely. Even though they are living together now but that doesn’t mean anything. Breaking up isn’t impossible just because you live together.

His phone is ringing and he looks around. Of course it isn’t in the kitchen, he thinks. He isn’t Tobio, he doesn’t leave his things where they don’t belong. He trots into the small living room and grabs his phone off the sofa although he could have sworn he didn’t leave it there. Perhaps he starts to be a little scatterbrained too after all.

It is a message from Tobio and it is as short as always.

'I'll buy some food when I get back. What do you want?'

Oikawa thinks about it for a moment and then absent-mindedly types in a single word.

'pork curry'

He sends it before he reads it and curses himself when he does. Perhaps he is deeper into this relationship than he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is silly and tries to make Kageyama jealous but it backfires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah okay so I did turn this into a tiny multi-chaptered thing OOPS. Basically Oikawa is a huge weenie in relationships and he's imo the type to completely fuck up everything by himself even if things look great because he's to insecure due to past relationships and all. Kageyama is chill as hell but. That's because this is Oikawa's perspective and that's how he sees his Tobio. He'd probably freak out to see how much Tobio thinks about their relationship tbh BUT OK I'M RAMBLING, please enjoy!

“I’ll be out tonight so you can buy whatever you want to for dinner.”

“Okay.”

Tobio’s answer isn’t surprising him. He is very obedient once you tame him, it seems. Or maybe he just pretends to be. Oikawa wonders what the younger man thinks about him going out. He usually meets up with Iwaizumi, rarely with some colleagues from work if Iwaizumi’s too busy. It’s nothing, really. But from his own experience with the girls he dated before, they always got jealous eventually. Because he didn’t say where he was going. And they mistrusted him. He wonders if Tobio secretly does the same. He probably does.

“I’ll be out long too, so go to sleep when you feel tired. You don’t have to wait.”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t even look up from the magazine he is reading. Tobio seems to care little for what Oikawa tells him and unreasonably, he feels angry. As if he expects Tobio to at least ask where he is going. You can’t trust someone blindly like this.

“Maybe until tomorrow in the morning,” Oikawa adds.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“I won’t call you.”

He still seems focused on what he is reading. He guesses it is a volleyball magazine because Tobio still likes to read those. Well, he also still likes to play but that’s another story entirely.

“I know. You don’t have to,” Tobio replies calmly and turns a page.

“Tobio.”

“Huh?”

Tobio looks up, he finally does, and the words suddenly get stuck in Oikawa’s throat. He doesn’t know why he likes to bully Tobio sometimes. Perhaps that’s also a habit of old times, like Tobio reading volleyball magazines. But lately all of Oikawa’s attempts seem to backfire. He is always the one who ends up upset or angry or frustrated. He realizes that it is not only a lame type of behaviour, but a dowright childish one on his behalf.

“…Never mind,” he murmurs eventually and scratches his head. There he goes. Perhaps it has been him all the time destroying his relationships and not the other party. He could simply tell Tobio where he is going and not wait for him to get jealous. For nothing, in the end. Why in the world would he even want that? Well, they do say that jealousy shows the other’s love but… that just makes him feel lamer than before.

“Greet Iwaizumi-san, then.”

“Wait, you know?”

It hits Oikawa like a well-aimed punch in the face. He made a fool out of himself before. Then again, it’s Tobio and he probably hasn’t been able to tell what sort of plan Oikawa had had in mind. His eyebrows wrinkle in confusion as he answers.

“Uh. You told me? It’s Friday, right? You told me before that Iwaizumi-san often has off on Friday evenings and that you go out to eat or drink something. You even asked me if I wanted to come with you once. Have you forgotten?”

Frankly, yes. He has forgotten. He admits it has always been some sort of test. He’d say he’d go out when, in fact, he was just staying late for training. He wanted to see if his partners would get angry. And jealous. Because jealousy is a proof, right? But it usually went overboard and the relationship simply broke. Especially if he admitted that he didn’t actually go out but stayed at the gym. Then he’d suddenly be a liar and couldn’t be trusted. Well.

Oikawa nods and snorts.

“When did I say things like that? I can’t remember at all.”

“Right when I moved in here. You told me that you’d often be gone on Friday nights right away so I could ‘go and party all night long’. Your words. You also added I could come and party with you if I wanted to but I refused.”

Now it’s bricks hitting his face. His heart sinks as he realizes that he, from the start, never planned to be as childish as this. That he trusted Tobio’s confession and his words and every single one of his actions. Moving so far away from his college without complaining, not even asking Oikawa for a closer place. Compromising, maybe and say they move somewhere to the middle so that they both need the same amount of time. Perhaps Tobio felt like he was intruding back then as he was asking to move in with him. Sometimes Oikawa feels like Tobio still thinks so.

“Why?”

“Because the time you have off is limited and we spend every day together anyway. It would be rude to interfere with your free time like this, especially when you had it planned before I moved in.”

There it is. Exactly what he thought a second ago. Tobio is too considerate for his own good. Oikawa never expected him to be like this but he is. Too much so. He’ll end up getting hurt at this point. And Oikawa realizes that it is he who willl hurt him. He doesn’t want to but he ends up being selfish and indulging himself. Because Tobio spoils him too much. He gives a lot even though he barely gets anything back. And suddenly Oikawa feels like the bricks hit his heart and it hits the floor harshly. He was so busy pitying himself that he didn’t bother looking at Tobio’s honest feelings, too busy being afraid of Tobio leaving him that he didn’t ever consider that Tobio wouldn’t do such a thing. He isn’t the type to take things light-heartedly. He is always serious about everything he does. It’s annoying but also very, very endearing.

He presses his lips together and clicks his tongue.

“Stop sounding so mature when you’re just a brat. It’s fine, you know? I wouldn’t have invited you along if I didn’t want you there.”

“I know,” he replies with a calm face, “that’s why I don’t mind. But I seriously don’t want to go.”

“Laaaaaaaame. Well, whatever floats your boat. If you’d rather sit alone at home reading volleyball magazines, fine then. Don’t come asking to tag along now though.”

“I won’t.”

“Brat,” he says, pretending to be annoyed. He really should be more demanding, that Tobio. He always lets everything slip but is far too hard on himself. What a joke.

Before Tobio lowers his gaze to continue reading again, Oikawa flops onto the sofa next to him and ruffles his hair harshly. He is angry but not at Tobio. At himself for making such a huge fool out of himself. He looks confused as to which Oikawa clicks his tongue again.

“Let me read with you,” he says and plants his cheek on Tobio’s shoulder, shuffling closer to his side.

“Yeah, okay.”

His eyes stare at the article about a former, very famous volleyball coach of the Japanese national team but he doesn’t absorb any of the information. Tobio is warm and forgiving and it’s upsetting that even though he is younger he seems to cope better with problems than himself but at the same time, it feels awfully safe by his side.

Oikawa doesn’t know when but he falls asleep and is only woken up in the evening by Tobio who tells him he’ll be late for his appointment with Iwaizumi if he doesn’t get ready soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow an update after half a year and this feels so detached from the other two chapters. i'm so sorry, god. to be quite frank, this fic means so so so much to me despite it being so short so i am rather upset at not being able to update this more, simply because i can't get back into the groove of it. 
> 
> i feel like this is not really like the other chapters but i hope you will still be able to enjoy it!

“So you’ll be gone a week?” Oikawa asks, leaning against the door frame with arms crossed and looking at Tobio sitting on the floor and packing his things. Oddly tidy, the boy, he actually folds his clothes and stacks them properly so that he has enough space for everything in the small sports bag he has had ever since high school. 

Tobio is careful with whatever he owns. Most of the things he brought along when he moved in he already had for years. That was more than a year ago now, Tobio moving in. 3 years ago Tobio confessed the first time. This is the longest Oikawa had ever stayed with the same person. Out of convenience more than anything else, he tells himself. It is not because of any sort of attachment. When it’s over, he will thank himself for thinking like this. 

“Yeah. We’ll be going to Osaka for training. I didn’t know there were going to be training camps in college…” Tobio says as he folds another shirt to pile it up the others already resting in his bag. Oikawa wonders if the small bag will really suffice for an entire week but he supposes Tobio is not going to go out much except from to the gym and back as he always does so what would he need fancy clothes for? 

“What did you expect, Tobio? ...Actually, never mind. The other day you said you didn’t expect college to be this much studying so why am I even surprised. How did you even pass the entrance exam?” 

As neat and incredibly intelligent Tobio might be on court, he is actually rather simple when it comes to scholastic matters. As in, actually pretty bad. At least judging from his high school grades. He seems to be doing fine in college so far. 

“...Yachi and Tsukishima helped me out. And I’m majoring in sports so it’s not as much effort as school was. Big part of the entrance exam had me do some exercises which was pretty easy.”

“Right, I remember.” Oikawa lets out a sigh and shifts his weight from one leg onto the other. What a simple-minded guy for real. “It was actually just a rhetorical question. Oh, but Osaka is nice. Our college team is always going there for training weeks too. There are some really good teams to practise with.” 

Tobio’s attention seems to be on Oikawa entirely now despite his clothes still spread on his lap. His eyes are almost… sparkling. Oikawa feels like he has a deja-vu but he doesn’t quite recall when else Tobio has ever looked at him like this. Or more like, he doesn’t want to remember. He hasn’t changed that much, this Tobio, from his first-year middle school self at least. “Have you been there often? Are they strong? The teams there?”

“Mmmmh,” Oikawa hums and pretends to ponder before he replies. “I’m sure they are actually stronger than most of the Tokyo teams. But I guess that’s a given. All the good professional teams are from Osaka and surroundings.”

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been excited back when he first went to Osaka with his college team. Probably even more excited than Tobio. Definitely more excited than him. He still fights with not seeing Tobio as a threat sometimes. But on court and off court are two different things. Really different. 

Tobio squeezes the shirt he holds and looks expectantly at Oikawa. Like back when… Don’t even think of it, it’s long past. Certainly, Tobio sees it the same way. Why else would he have developed feelings for him otherwise? ...Why indeed? “I can’t wait to see and play against them,” Tobio eventually says when Oikawa keeps quiet and continues folding his clothes. 

“You should check the city out too, while you are at it. It’s pretty and the food is great,” Oikawa says absentmindedly as he watches Tobio packing his things as if it were the most fascinating thing he has ever witnessed. The way he does it is surely interesting as are Tobio’s hands. It’s not as if Oikawa has his touch memorized. Or perhaps he does but he certainly does not think of it right now. Tobio’s hands are usually cold anyway, not like he would need to think of them. Just memorizing it for the time when Tobio will get fed up with him and finally leave. Everyone has. Eventually. Oikawa is ready for it. 

“Are we going to have enough free time to go through the city? I remember in high school, I’ve been to Tokyo a few times but I never really got around seeing it until I moved here.”

“You are free to do whatever you want after you are done with your daily training plan. It’s a bit different from high school training camps since there is no supervisor. You just have the coach and the managers who are your age anyway. You can continue practising but you can also go and sleep or do whatever, really. I suggest you try the udon in Osaka though. It goes down your throat so nicely after a day full of training.” 

“...Mmmh, that sounds nice. I will keep it in mind. Hinata is probably going to drag me all around the city anyway,” Tobio retorts, picking up his shoes and throwing them into the bag next to the stack of clothes. They look so worn off. He should probably get new ones soon though Oikawa does remember Tobio told him he wanted a specific pair that only came out recently. He even saved up for them. 

“Well, at least someone does. I’ll write him to remind him or else you will spend an entire week in a stuffy gym.” 

Tobio lifts his head, looking at Oikawa with a puzzled expression. As if he would never do that. How did he even get that idea? ...Frankly because he had done the same the first time he’d been to Osaka and ended up coming back home having seen nothing of the city he’d visited. And he knows Tobio is just as eager. This really hasn’t changed at all. 

“You’ll _write_ him? Huh, so you’re that close already,” Tobio murmurs as he drops tidily folded towels onto the shoes in his bag. 

“Oh, _Tobio-chan_ ,” Oikawa purrs in the wrongest way it could come out of his throat and suddenly he does remember his high school self - and while he isn’t entirely proud of it, it seems like he wasn’t able to change in the course of just 3 years entirely. “Are you jealous, by any chance? Don’t worry, Hinata-chan and I are too alike for anything to ever happen.”

“I’m not jealous,” and Tobio stands up with those words, the bag almost entirely full, “I’m actually happy. I wouldn’t know what to do if you didn’t get along so it’s better that you do. I didn’t think so, at first.”

“Me neither,” Oikawa says, and it’s not a lie. The first time he met Hinata after he graduated was not long after Tobio confessed to him. Hinata had been rather apprehensive and Oikawa didn’t really know much about him except that he was a nasty adversary on court but they quickly found out they were cut from the same cloth after Hinata tagged along with Tobio the first time he came to Tokyo. Which was about two and a half years ago. 

Time sure flies. Back then, both Tobio and Hinata were still in their second high school year and Hinata had only tagged along with Tobio so he would have an excuse to go to Tokyo in their winter holidays. Oikawa can’t believe the first two years, they hadn’t even properly been together at all. Just sporadically, when holidays came though Tobio usually preferred going to training camps in summer. He did visit on random weekends though, every now and then. Telling his mum he’d sleep over at Hinata’s who gave him the idea and promised to cover his lies. “What can I say, our love for sweets, bad dramas and gossip has brought us together. I wonder if he watched the latest episode of that new thing that started airing… ah crap, I forgot the name…”

“You’re asking the wrong person. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about,” Tobio replies. He shuffles towards the closet, and stretches to reach the upper case, his hands roaming to find something - something that is apparently not there as he wrinkles his nose. “Well, shit.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “What’s it now?”

“I could have sworn I still had a spare pair of kneepads there but now I remembered that it’s actually the pair I’m using right now and I forgot to buy new ones,” Tobio sighs, pout forming on his face and Oikawa doesn’t want to say he likes that sort of expression, but he does. He loves it, actually. It’s cute and Tobio does it a lot when he is being teased. It’s one excuse why Oikawa resorts to doing that sort of thing at all, or so he tells himself. “Whatever, I’m sure we’ll pass by a sports store tomorrow and mine will hold out for a bit longer. Not like I changed them all too long ago.”

“You can have mine.” Oikawa struts to his side of the closet as he talks. “Like, not the ones I wear but new ones,” he adds as he looks for the kneepads in a box at the bottom of the wardrobe. “I still have two spare pairs from the time they were off because that shop near my college closed. Remember?”

“Yeah, that’s where I got my shoes, right?”

“Yup,” Oikawa pulls the kneepads out, fresh and new and still wrapped, and throws them into the open bag - to score a three-pointer. “Amazing. Maybe I should have considered basketball after all.” He laughs and then adds, “But volleyball’s the best anyway.”

“It is.” Tobio grins and nods in agreement. Of course he would. What else would Tobio love more than volleyball? ...What else? Oikawa takes a leap onto the bed and lets himself fall flat onto his face. 

In hindsight, volleyball hasn’t always been fun. More than that, it has been frustration and despair for him. In high school, definitely. It changed a bit in college. There were new faces and an entirely new mentality behind the players. Not to say their level of playing was more elevated despite his high school team having been filled with great players already. He’s still frustrated sometimes. But he feels like his mind is clearer about his goals, like he can breathe even outside of the court. There was a time for him when he thought this wasn’t possible. And he knows it has been the same for Tobio. ...If they never played, they might have never met. Perhaps that would have been for the better. For Tobio, it surely would have been. Once more, like hundred times every day, Oikawa wonders why Tobio had fallen for him. Out of any person surrounding him. It could have been Hinata. It could have been their cute manager. It could have been one of his upperclassmen at Karasuno. One of the people he had been close with. One of those who cherished him. 

It could have been anyone but him. 

“Oikawa-san.” Tobio sits down next to him on the bed, the weight making the bed feel like it will break. It won’t. They sleep in this bed together every day. It still bends dangerously sometimes. Oikawa turns his head up, cheek resting against the quilt spread on the bed. He wanted to look at Tobio but his eyes were glued to a keychain dangling from the zipper of Tobio’s now closed bag. 

“That thing…”

“Hm? Which one?” Tobio turns around to follow Oikawa’s gaze and huffs when he sees. “Ah.”

“You kept it.” 

Oikawa props himself onto his elbows and stares at the volleyball mascot charm. It’s so worn off that the colours are barely visible anymore, not to speak of its eyes. One of the arms is broken and it’s barely recognizable anymore. 

“It was the first present I got from you,” Tobio mutters, a slight pink on his cheeks. “It… made me happy.”

Oikawa doesn’t plan on telling Tobio he only gave it to him back then because it was old and he had gotten rid of his old school bag but didn’t know what to do about the charms on it. So, on a whim, he gave it to Tobio after he found it in the pockets of his old coat when they went out in Tokyo for the first time. It had already been old and tattered, white spots all over it but Tobio still held onto it. Even though it had been such a small thing. So unimportant. He could have just thrown it away. Who would even keep it? When it was so obviously old and used?

Oikawa wonders why he gave it to Tobio in the first place. Wasn’t it just bullying? Was it testing Tobio? He doesn’t properly remember anymore. He does know that any girl would have thrown it back at his face, maybe snickered and called it a joke but none of them would have ever accepted something like this and named it “the first present I got from you”. Shit. 

He doesn’t remember why he gave it to Tobio anymore but he does remember the boy squeezing it in his gloved hands and smiling. He never meant to get involved in this relationship. He never meant to let attachment happen to him. He wants to be ready when Tobio leaves him. His heart only hurts because he’s been lying on his stomach for too long, not because the thought of it scares him. 

“You should get a new one. It looks like a white and ugly blob now,” is the only thing Oikawa manages to say before his voice breaks. Lame. 

Tobio presses his lips together, eyebrows furrowed, eyes squinting. “I guess.”

“You don’t have to guess, that’s how it is. Nobody even knows what this is anymore. Honestly, Tobio. I know you don’t have any sense of fashion whatsoever and that you don’t really care but---”

“I might get a new one. But I’m not going to throw this one away,” Tobio says as he looks at Oikawa who averts his eyes right away. He’s too earnest. Too frank. Too… attached. 

“Do whatever you want,” Oikawa mutters into the quilt, uncertain whether Tobio even understood the muffled noises as words or just put them off. 

Tobio left the morning after and comes back exactly a week later, the time without him having passed quicker than Oikawa expected but slower than it should have, and from his bag dangling was still the same old charm as before - except it was clumsily coloured back to what it supposedly used to look like before. Oikawa thinks he might know what he will give to Tobio on his next birthday - the new pair of shoes he had wanted so badly, and perhaps a new charm to go along with his old one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of always imagined kageyama to have a bit of an ocd, his stuff always has to be neat since he probably doesn't own that much in the first place and about the kneepads... he probably always wants a spare pair with him in case his wear off during training so he wouldn't have to interrupt ~precious practise time~ to get new ones or (LOUDLY GASPS) STOP PRACTISING FOR THAT DAY! UNHEARD FOR!
> 
> as for oihina, leave me be, i like to imagine they bond over talking trash about others (especially kageyama, probably)
> 
> and the charm mentioned by oikawa is actually one he does wear in canon on his school bag and i have no idea what gave him the idea it would be a great present for his boyfriend. neither does he. he probably just wanted to fuck around bc the relationship was supposed to be a bit of fun here and there. well, you know, oikawa, you fucked up and are in deep shit, he's in so deep he's drowning and he doesn't even realize it. it's so cute how oikawa still thinks he is not attached to tobio. he certainly is not a genius.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah another half a year of a break for the last chapter, i'm so sorry. i hope you'll enjoy!

A buzzing wakes Oikawa up, his lids feeling incredibly heavy as if he would need another 12 hours of sleep in order to rid himself of this exhaustion. The flickering lights of the TV make him shut his eyes back again and breathe out, his throat itching and hurting. 

Right. A cold. He almost forgot about that. Just how long has he been asleep? The dim light of the uplighter is on, it must be dark outside by now. He doesn’t remember turning it on though. He doesn’t remember turning the TV on either. Or sleeping in the living room. 

He shifts, stuffing his hand under the pillow and God, do his bones hurt but considerably less than in the morning. What surprises him then, is the feeling of the sofa moving underneath his hand and then he is certain he might have picked either the wrong medicine or took too much of it because _sofas don’t move_. 

“Ah, Oikawa-san, are you awake?”

For a second, Oikawa freezes wondering why his sofa speaks like Tobio until he remembers that it probably is Tobio himself speaking and not the sofa. Of course not. Ridiculous, he didn’t consider that for a second, why would he? In a moment of brilliance he realizes it was also Tobio who moved and obviously not the sofa. 

He means to reply like a proper human being but only a low grumble comes out of his mouth, his throat itching too much to speak up shortly after he woke up. His eyes are open again and he recognizes what show is on TV. It’s an old documentary about space, more precisely about meteors. It’s a surprise it is on now, he used to watch exactly this one when he was younger whenever he was sick. Actually, it became sort of a ritual to do so even at an older age. But he honestly doesn’t remember looking for the DVDs and turning them on. Not at all. 

“...What time is it?” Oikawa croaks and decides he needs to drink some tea in the next hour or so because he doesn’t like being unable to communicate. 

“It’s almost 9pm.” 

For as calm as Tobio’s voice was, Oikawa jerks up so quickly that he feels dizzy when sitting up. He shuts his eyes tightly and asks his balance to come back to him, fairly quickly if it will but he feels a hand at his back and a warmth he would like to lean back into. ...His, Tobio's, hands are always so cold, how comes they feel so inviting now? 

“I slept the entire day,” Oikawa says, his voice much calmer than his insides feel, as a matter of fact. He missed out on classes, he missed out on _practice_ , did he even tell anyone he was sick? Well it would be fine for a day but---

“I called Sugawara-san to tell him you would be absent from classes today,” and Oikawa has to make sure for a second that he didn’t say out aloud what he thought but doesn’t remember doing so. His mind gets a little clearer every minute he is awake, by now he _should_ be able to tell what he is doing. “And I told Kuroo-san you wouldn’t be at practice.”

“Did you also turn the documentary on?” Oikawa asks, entirely out of context, staring at the screen. He’s seen it so often, he almost has the phrases said memorized. It makes him think of how fascinated he once used to be by what he had learnt after watching it. He didn’t let Iwaizumi hear about anything else for the rest of the week. The next four weeks after, he told him about the other four documentaries of this series. And every time he got sick, he repeated it. Perhaps that’s why he rarely got sick when they were older, Iwaizumi took better care of him than his own mother. In hindsight because he probably didn’t want to hear about space-related matters for the span of his life anymore. Oikawa isn’t sure why he remembers things like these now. 

“You said you always watched space documentaries when you were sick and I found a few recorded so I thought I’d put them on.”

Tobio never used to be like this, right? He never used to be considerate, back then. Back in the past, that was the last thing he, or anyone for that matter, would have called Tobio. There was a lack of empathy within him that Oikawa thought would never pass. That it was simply how Tobio was. But… when did he change? When did everything change the way it is now? 

“I was asleep the whole time.”

No one ever did this for him. None of his past relationships, that is. Perhaps Iwaizumi would have. But he doesn’t count. He also listens to endless ramblings about space when no one else does. Or perhaps Tobio would too. He never asked, never considered but if he thinks about it, even if Tobio wouldn’t care, he would still listen. And maybe remember one or two things. That would be nice. 

He breathes out silently, almost deflating back into lying down - and realizing the pillow had been on Tobio’s lap. So that’s why he felt the sofa moving. ...Tobio moving, of course. Did he…

“Have you gone to college today?”

“No.”

“Practice?”

“Was postponed to Sunday because the entire team called in sick too. Hinata told me.”

Oikawa’s head sinks into the pillow, his eyes fixed on Tobio’s face. He isn’t lying. Of course he isn’t, this is Tobio after all. He wouldn’t be lying about something like this. And he remembers now more of the morning, of how he woke up barely able to move, of how Tobio took care of him and pampered him because he isn’t able to call it differently, of how he gave in to Oikawa’s request of wanting to stay in the living room with him rather than alone in the bedroom, and even put on his favourite documentaries after going to the pharmacy and picking up some medicine.

Tobio looks at him with eyes Oikawa probably sees differently, fever changing his senses but he looks fond even with a stern expression and nothing soothes Oikawa more than this. He never meant to get attached, he told himself over and over again. He craved for love but never wanted to let it get too close to him. Everyone else left too, after all. Just because it was Tobio - or more perhaps exactly because it was Tobio - it wouldn’t have had to be different. 

In fact, of all people he’d been with, Tobio should have left the fastest. Should have never even fallen. No matter how often Oikawa thinks about how and why, he never finds a satisfying answer to that. Tobio isn’t someone to go by mere looks so that’s excluded but for all Oikawa remembers, Tobio didn’t have a single reason to love him. Time and time over, Oikawa was sure that Tobio thought that admiration and love were the same thing even when they were so different. 

And perhaps it started like that. Perhaps it was admiration Tobio initially felt just like Oikawa initially felt like indulging himself. Perhaps it grew into something else over the time they were apart yet still seeing each other. Perhaps even more ever since they moved together. Perhaps it grows even now. That, Oikawa had never taken into account. And realizes it was his gravest mistake. 

Because maybe neither him nor Tobio really loved each other at the beginning but relationships change every second they are maintained. Even if it is simple small additions like the knowledge of the other’s favourite food, the other’s odd habits, every other word exchanged, it all leads to strengthening or dissolving a relationship. Oikawa figures he never wanted to know this. Never wanted to see. Because what if he had been the only one? What if Tobio finally realized it wasn’t love and left? Just like everyone else did. Just like Oikawa told himself everyone else would. 

For all the confidence he gained in the last years regarding his skills and abilities, for all the confidence he gained in himself, relationships left him with a weak point. The only spot he couldn’t stand tall in. The only thing he said he would take easy, not getting too involved, not getting too attached anymore. Until Tobio came. And even then, he kept on going with his mindset - but not following it for a second. As much as his mind wanted to keep him safe, his heart drove him over the cliff.

And like that, Tobio became his weak point. He still is. He always was, in a way or another. And he will most definitely always be. No matter how much Oikawa fights against it, every fibre of his being knows better than his mind tells him every second of his life with Tobio. 

He doesn’t want Tobio to leave. He isn’t ready for should he disappear. He isn’t waiting for it, he doesn’t _want_ to be waiting for it. He’d much rather sink in and bask in the feelings he’s given than think about an ending every waking hour. 

Tobio gives him a look that is more puzzled than anything else, Oikawa can’t tell whether it is because he’s simply been staring at him for this entire time his exhausted, fever-driven mind ran in circles or, and that is the more likely option after all because he wonders when he started to, why Oikawa is smiling up to him. 

He lifts a hand and brushes Tobio’s cheek with the back of his hand, watching his face going from surprise to mild embarrassment just to ultimately settle for a clumsy smile as he leans into the touch. 

It’s only a little later that Oikawa falls back asleep to the sound of a deep voice from the TV talking about the speed meteors fall down with, thin fingers with rough fingertips brushing through his hair softer than any breeze he felt outside and a warmth filling him that he would have considered being his fever before yet he isn’t looking for excuses anymore to explain why he feels warm next to Tobio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a lot of other things planned for this and while i was writing it turned out a whole lot different than what i had in mind but i feel like the ending suits the general pacing the best and i kept struggling whether to add more or not but i feel like that would add unnecessary stuff to it. i hope you enjoyed this even if it was nothing particularly special and didn't end with some kind of boom! 
> 
> i know i really enjoyed writing this despite getting a lot of shit for it and that it is one of the works that are the most precious to me! i hope i was able to portray oikage properly in the type of relationship i imagine them to be in and i hope it was as satisfying to read as it was satisfying to write it! shoutout to all oikage fans, this is for ya'll, do stay strong and be proud of this fantastic ship no matter what anyone says!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Watch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3407333) by [farethy (talonyth)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/farethy)




End file.
